Connecting with your family and friends – the most important relationships in your external world – is one of the most powerful steps you can take to experience a state of Life Is Wonderful.
There is a sense of hope and inspiration our clients experience as they learn the skills to connect more effectively with the people in their lives. Rather than superficial niceties or artificial acceptance, it’s about connecting around a deep sense of what is alive in each other. It’s about having the skills and courage to mutually share what is and is not working for you and trusting the feedback will be received as a gift, providing clarity on how you each enjoy being cared for. Most importantly, it’s when you acknowledge that this relationship matters. In fact, it matters so much that you are willing to put time and effort into it, willing to risk making some “messes” as you learn what does and doesn’t work for each other, and willing to trust you will have the skills to clean up any messes so that mutual care and love are experienced.
Hiding is suffering
The more of yourself that you hide from your friends and family the more you will suffer as a result of this suppression. Suppression stimulates a sense of threat and is a pro-inflammatory state, over time, leading to chronic disease as well as dissatisfaction in your life. Connecting to yourself, on the other hand, will not only meet your need for inner peace but will actually stimulate a sense of safety also known as an anti-inflammatory state. Whether you are feeling angry, ashamed, celebratory, or burnt out, WeHeal helps to identify and honor these emotions while providing the skills and tools to support them so you no longer need to repress or suppress.
We often ask clients how much of themselves they keep hidden, the part of who they are or their desires that they don’t share with anyone else. Most people answer somewhere in the range of 30%, meaning they keep about ⅓ of their true selves hidden from others. Take a minute to think about what percentage you keep hidden and suppressed. Maybe you’ll notice a sense of sadness come up or a feeling of being alone – not seen for who you truly are.
Messes are opportunities
Our next question is why they keep this part of themselves hidden. The most common answer is to avoid making messes in their lives in the form of conflict, arguments, and disconnection. Past experiences with messes resulted in rejection, fear, anger, hurt, pain and suffering. At WeHeal we reframe messes as opportunities. First to express our true selves and second to learn the skills to clean up any messes we make. In essence, we are human, we make mistakes, we will inevitably make messes and we trust that we have the ability to clean them up.
Authentic connection is joy
Connecting in satisfying relationships where you have a space to show up authentically provides a sense of hope and joy. In and of itself that is powerful. An additional benefit is that when we feel surrounded and supported by people who care about us, we make a greater effort to care for ourselves. This connected state strengthens our meaning, purpose, value, and happiness and replaces previous addictive and toxic behaviors used to numb and distract.